"I'm not done with you yet."

What? You thought I, June Santos, would be gone forever? That was foolish.

Keep your eyes wide open, because RootPain.com is coming back, bigger, and better than ever.

I'll see you all soon.

Also, if you were one of my previous partners, and you still wish to be included as a partner in the new version of the website, PLEASE, let me known below in the comments or privately.

Damn. It's been a while since I've made one of these, huh?

Well. I guess I've finally hit my 24s today. And I don't really know how to feel about it.

There's a lot to think and reflect upon, and a lot has changed, and I've gained just as much as I've lost, and looking back onto how things used to be, it's kinda wild to see how far I've come, specially considering I've never planned to make past my 20's.

So where to even begin?

I guess from where I started is a good point.

My late 10's (18 to 19 years) and the first half of my early 20's were the years I solely dedicated to destroying my life.

With everyone I liked gone, specially with a grim future looming over my head, I thought that life itself was giving me a sign that "This was it.". Everything was hectic and confusing, and I had no one to look up to, and I specially had no idea what to do. And with everyone demonizing me, at one point, I started believing I was actually irredemable, and so, in my fucked up head, I thought; "If I can't be good, I sure as hell can be the worst.", and so, I did just that.

The way I acted from my 18's until my 23's was actually awful. I used to live solely to make everyone and myself miserable. I was offensive for no other reason than just being edgy and getting a rise out of other people. I was inconsiderate with everyone and myself, and I held some incredibly nasty ideas of how I should go on about life and treat others. These views and attitudes stopped me from ever being friends with a ton of cool people I still like to this day, because every interaction they had with me, was me acting like a complete piece of shit to everyone. And even nowadays, some people still refuse to talk to me because of that, justifiably so. Even if I changed, it doesn't really erase the past. But I still regret a lot of these things often.

I was also incredibly pretentious, and despite never really making anything past mediocre, I still felt like my views of art were "superior" to everyone else's, and people doing their own thing in their own way that wasn't my own or something I didn't personally approve, in my head, was a justification for going after them and being nasty towards them, disguising my pettiness and pretentiousness as "constructive criticism" because I was too much of a little bitch and I was afraid of being called out by anyone, so I'd rather pull a "power move" instead of just growing some balls.

After talking and meeting some people, some good, some bad, my views and the way I acted started to shift massively.

I befriended a lot of people around mid 2023, and some of them told me that despite how much they liked me, they also couldn't deny that some of the things I used to do and say used to hurt them a lot, and they still believed that I "could do better", even if everything pointed otherwise. These things made me think a lot, because I also thought they were cool, and at one point we even became friends, but there was clear resentment because I'd rather spend my time crying how my life was ruined and making it everyone else's problem, instead of actually sorting the problem, specially when I could pinpoint exactly what it was. I also ended up meeting a lot of people that held the same attitude and beliefs I had around that time, and meeting them in person was actually eye-opening. Because for the first time, I actually got to experience first hand how it was to be at the end of my own thinly-veiled anger and dissatisfaction that I so desperately tried to disguise as "valid criticism", and seeing myself in these people, it genuinely made me stop for a second and go; "Holy shit... Am I really that whiny? Am I really that pretentious? Is this why people don't like me?", and it made me actually take a step back, and realize that I needed to change, badly.

So after all of that, I went back and apologized to a lot of people, I started changing the way I viewed and went about criticzing art (which ironically enough, was the same way I used to view art when younger), and this also allowed me to better understand the flaws with my works and myself, because the moment I stopped viewing the things I made as superior, it was the point where I noticed that I still had a lot to learn and improve, and this also got me into asking a lot of people around for help with my art, and some long-running friendships even started because of that, and I specially wanted to change how negative I used to be. Instead of going around trying to complain about everything, I started to complain when there was any point to complain/if it would solve anything, or just dismiss things entirely, because they were not worth the headache. Instead of going around trying to pick what I don't like about art, I instead started to think about why these things connected with me so much. Why do I like this? What makes it click? How was this achieved? And this even allowed me to start some genuinely pretty good friendships aswell. At times I'd go "Hey, this is nice, how did you do this?" on someone's piece, and they'd respond to it, and at points, we even started chatting directly, and I still talk to some of these people to this day. And seeing how much my life improved with this mentality, it just solidified I never wanted to go back to how I used to behave back in the day, and to this day, I continue like this. There is still a lot of work to do, and there is always room for improvement, but I'd say I've done pretty good thus far.

I've even befriended some people that I never expected to befriend to begin with, one of my best friends being someone that used to dislike me, and even thought I was "insufferable". And now she's one of the best friends I could ask for, and she even went as far as to say that "she's proud of my growth", and considering she's one of the main people I always looked up to when it comes to morality and in general just being a good person, this means everything to me.

You know who you are. Thanks a lot. And specially thank you for the godly amount of patience you always had with me. Godspeed.

Moving back to my old hometown and leaving my old family behind was also one of the biggest factors in all of this change. Living on my old broken down house with a bunch of people that drove me insane on a daily basis was one of the biggest factors to all that hate I've harbored, and once I moved out, and started living with people that liked me, treated me well, and actively interacted with me, a lot of my old, bad habits that I've develop in there are now mostly gone. I still have certain things in need of change, but I'll work on that in due time.

This journey wasn't a straight one, or even one with pure ups. There were some real bad downs too.

I think one of the hardest things to do in recent years was learning to let go, and specially to just trust myself and my gut feeling before just going with the easiest conclusion because you're too scared of stepping on anyone's toes.

Being too desperate to keep certain people around, I'd usually take more than I'd usually allow just for the sake of not starting anything, and this lead me to getting hurt a lot, because I thought that "maybe if I endure this hard enough, there will be some sort of change", when the change would never come, because they never believed they did me any wrong, and I would never tell them in fear of pushing them away aswell.

But at one point, I got tired of being a people's pleaser.

I started to actually to set boundaries, put my foot down and go "That's enough.". I stopped going after people, and just started minding my own business and doing my own thing, and I even started to step away on my own if I saw that the relation wasn't going to end up well.

And some people hated that.

I saw a lot of people stopped talking to me, and one of them, being someone I used to LOVE back in the day.

They went their way, and I stayed on mine. That hurt a ton, and it still hurts me to this day, but I'd rather not spend my life chasing and begging for someone to stay, specially when I've already done that countless times before.

But that wasn't all bad. My circles are now pretty small and tight. Just the way I like it.

I don't talk to many people, but the few I do, are some of the best friends I could ask for, and I don't need anything more than that to be doing well in life. I still miss a lot of these old friends, and a part of me still hopes that one day they'll actually reach me out, and we could work things out again, but at one point, you just gotta accept that certain cases are lost causes.

But I'm glad to have gone through everything I did. From the goods, and bads.

Every experience in life is valid, and everything builds up to something else, and I'm very thankful for that.

At one point I used to think my life was over, and that I could never really redeem myself

But as long as we're alive, there's always time to rebuild. It's never too late to change.

I'm thankful for everyone who's gone, and everyone who's stayed

I'm thankful for the good times, and for the bad times too

I'm thankful for everything, really.

Here's to 24 years. And here's to 24 more.

Thank you, and godspeed.

This section is going to be a little briefer than the previous one, but to make a long story short, I've been focusing on my real life and real family, and I've been working on things on the background, specially when it comes to my art.

I've been doing a daily sketch once a day, just to do something, and I've been having fun doing art again, even if I never post anything, and I want to improve my art further, and start making things more dynamic, and even though I'm having trouble figuring things out and where to go now, I'm still having fun doing it, and thats all that matters.

And you probably thought I forgot about RootPain.com

But RootPain.com never left me.

I still think about my website on a daily basis, and I do plan to go back to working on it eventually, but lately, I've grown a certain disdain over HTML and how flimsy it is, and how some things refuse to work despite how much I try to make it work (Example: Pixel fonts on modern browsers are fucking dogshit and they refuse to work despite how much I try to make it work) and I've shifted my focus on my art so I can actually start making my own assets for a future game I have planned. But I've always thought about RootPain.com, and it never really left me. I still re-read old messages and emails inquiring me about the website, if I'm ever going to update it again, and if I'll ever do anything with it, and I really do still love the idea of my website, and these messages always come back to me, and I'm always grateful for receiving them. But as of now, I don't think going back to the website is the right call. I need to refine my works further, and plan things better. Then I can start making everything work like I've planned. But RootPain.com will live, and you can count on that.

But I've been around, and I've been doing well, and that's all that matters as of now.

We go on. The struggle continues.

I'm already in my 24s, and I really need to think about what I want for my future and for myself, and as of now, I plan to make the best out of it. Work and improve as much as I can, and enjoy the time I have in here. There's still a ton of things I want to do, a lot of places I want to be, and a ton of people I want to meet, and I plan to achieve that in the near future.

I'll keep on trying.

At the end of the day, it's like I always say; "Trying is everything anyone could ask for."

I'd like to write more, but I already went for long enough as of now, so for now, that's it.

Remember; you either love the ROOT, or you hate the PAIN. No in-between.

Godspeed.

"Nothing worthwhile is ever easy."

I've written this whole thing while listening to this, so for maximum effect, play this while you're reading.

We're doing another one of these, huh?

Hey. You probably haven't heard of me in a while.

I've been around, but I've been mostly keeping it for myself. I've done a lot of thinking, and attempted to a lot of things, to varying degrees of success and satisfaction. And I think the best way to summarize this year is with one phrase; Waste of potential.

The year actually started well, with new opportunities opening up to me, a promise of a new, better job, and me moving to a newer, bigger house with my new family. In comparision to my older situation, where I'd live on a broken house, where it would rain where I slept, and I lived with a family that was a detriment to my life as a whole, this was quite a nice change of pace I've had when going from 2023 to 2024. And I've been living with them for a year now. They can be a litle bit too much from time to time, but it's undeniable that they're good for me. I can actually say I have a good, real family now. A family that actually likes and respects me, and in general, the fact they rely on me and my help makes me feel like I'm in control of my own life. I've spent a whole life with people constantly running their issues with me, only for me to solve them and they seemingly never credit or acknowledge my feats. But now, not only I'm acknowledged, I'm respected and looked upon as a good example, and that does make me very happy.

And a while before the end of December, I've completely cutted ties with my old family, with the exception of my dad and one of my cousins (because he works on the same place I do, plus, he's alright.), and that felt like letting a huge weight go. The more I see myself distant from them and everything to do with them, the happier I see myself, and I plan to keep doing that until they're all gone for good.

This is probably one of the few truly good things about this year

Because the rest is either pretty boring, or just outright pretty bad.

The first thing is my job.

More than ever, my job at the newspaper factory has been making me feel utterly defeated

I've had days where I'd sleep on my job for hours on end, and still find myself sleeping through the whole day because of how tired I am. So my life has been pretty much fully dedicated to my job, and that made me unable to work and learn on a lot of the things I was planning to work this year. Which includes RootPain.com

RootPain.com is still something I'm always thinking about at the back of my head

It's my passion project, and I still have a ton of ideas for it, some of them that I plan to work on for the "City Era" when I get there. But my job and other issues going around with my life have left me unable to find that drive I had when I first made my website, or even joined Newgrounds. I've started this year wanting to improve my works and my relations, and by the end of it, I've managed to do both of those things, but in a very halted, unorthodox way, and I've had to lose a lot in order to reach these improvements.

When I was on my vacation, I've met this guy online, and we started dating for a while

We even ended up meeting on a shopping nearby. It was kinda cool, and he was kinda cute

But the more time I spent with him, specially towards the end of our relationship. He just wasn't for me.

But the real loss was with one of my friends

We just had a really stupid discussion (over something that honestly shouldn't have been an issue to begin with), and instead of entertaining stupidity, I just decided to leave for a while (about four or five days?) and come back later when I was ready to forget all of it, afterall, I wasn't going to throw my friendship with someone I like a lot over bullshit drama

Too bad they don't think the fucking same, because instead of acknowledging how retarded that whole ordeal was, they instead decided to pin the blame on me and end things right there.

They said I was just ok with letting them go that easily, but what was I supposed to do? Force him to stay?

Specially after I've already fought teeth and nail to keep him around the first time?

At one point, you just have to stop fighting.

So we went our separate ways.

He may be gone, but I haven't stopped to think about him one day.

And this deeply affected me through the remainder of the year

I've felt so lost, and honestly empty. I felt like I didn't mean anything, and everyone else could just leave like that over nothing, even after claiming how much they love me.

So I closed myself. I pushed people away. I fell back into old habits, and for a while, I saw that angry, dissatisfied person I used to be coming back to once again halt and take away all the progress I've made these past few years. But just as much as I've felt abandoned, A lot of people started to come to my aid when I needed them the most. They've shown how much they like me, not for what I pretend to be, or the character that I've made for myself, but because of me.

I've seen people I haven't talked in a good year or so come to me and tell me how much I've helped

How much my bits and little jokes made them laugh, some of them even telling me how much my bits changed them, and how they've even adapted some of my jokes into their daily life.

I've seen people tell me that they've seen me change, and that I'm a far better person than I used to be a few years ago when we first met. And in general, I've made friendships with people that I was never expecting to befriend in a million years.

I even ended up meeting the artist that inspired my current sprite art by complete chance on a game I play from time to time, and her telling me that meeting me was amazing, makes me feel very happy.

In general, I've seen a lot of people I've met during the end of this year tell me that my humor and my way of doing things is charming. Instead of calling me annoying or unfunny, or telling me to stop talking, they've actively told me that they liked how I kept a conversation going, how pleasant it was talking to me, and that they just find me very funny and charming. And this has made me feel way more confident about myself and the way I see my own person.

These things got me thinking a lot

I used to be very afraid of being annoying and unfunny, so I was constantly trying to change myself and my humor to try and please everyone. But more so than ever, specially after everything that I've taken into consideration, from friends, strangers, and even my own family, I'm fine with just doing my own thing. I am very happy, not despite of my faults, but in spite of it. Those things makes me who I am, and the reason why some people ended up liking (and some hating) me as much as they do, and I embrace this fact, and I've been feeling like I've been more genuine than I've been in my entire life, and for once, I'm not playing a character I've made for myself to try and get people to like me any longer.

I'm still missing a lot of people, and I wish things could have gone differently, but it's too late for that now, isn't it?

I've definitely improved, not only as a creative, but mostly as a person

I've taken some hits to get here, and some things definitely could have been avoided, but I guess that's just life for you.

This year has been a confusing, and honestly tiring one

"Waste of potential" is the phrase I'd use to describe it

So let's make the next one a better one, shall we?

My main plans for 2025 is to:

-Resume work on RootPain.com and implement the "City Era"

-Improve my relations, both online and offline

-Decrease the size of my circles, and only leave people I actually like and trust instead of constantly trying to network and befriend everyone (AKA Downsizing)

-Work on more things and improve my crafts as much as I can

-Get a better job, if possible

-Vape on GMod more (this one is done already)

And that's it.

I normally would mention a few people that made my year a better one at the end of these sort of posts, but you know who you are.

I want to thank you all, both on and off Newgrounds for keeping up with me and supporting me along the way

You're going to hear more from me next year, I can promise you. I'm very hard to get rid off.

And before I wrap this up: I actually made a little song for kaiakairo's game, Timmy Christmas, and it has yours truly singing. This has been easily the highlight of my year and career, and I can't not mention this in here. Go play it if you wanna have a good time.

That's it everyone

Happy new year. May you find everything you seek.

Godspeed.

-June Santos, The No More Hero

Yo, what's up!

I've written a blog post on my website (and yes, I'm back to updating that) about 2023, recapping everything that happened on it, and giving some thanks to a few people in there, if by any chance you're interested, go give a check on RootPain.com, my website, or just click the link below, my website is very cool, I promise!

Either way, happy decemberween

I'll see you next year!

https://rootpain.com/blog/pages/personal/junes2023recap.html

THAT'S RIGHT FOOL, I'M BACK WITH MORE

I HAVE A NEW COOL UPDATE

NEW SECTION, NEW CHRISTMAS THEME, NEW THINGS(???)

IT'S REALLY FUCKING COOL AND YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT

CHECK RootPain.com AND LEAVE A MESSAGE ON THE GUESTBOOK NOW NOW NOWWW

https://rootpain.com/

It's really hard to know what to say at times like these

I haven't been exactly active in here per se, I have been around, interacting here and there, liking art, maybe a comment or another, but that's about it. So when I got the notification that I was selected to be the user of the day, it blew my fucking mind.

I know User Of The Day is mostly random, but I do feel like in a way, it's deserved

I've been around here for quite a while, even before this current account was made, I've been sticking with NG for my whole life, and after getting my first frontpage with the last art piece I've made, getting User Of The Day almost feels like closing the book with one last trophy, it feels pretty good.

I have to thank everyone that has supported me through these years, and the friends I've made on this community

I've met some of the nicest and coolest people out there, and I'm lucky to be friends with so many cool and talented people, and I don't think I'd be where I am if not for them.

(This post originally had a bunch of stupid garbage in it, so I made you the favor and edited it out, no need to thank me.)

I updated a few pages, improved optimization and how the code is handled between multiple pages

And added more fanart and people to the fanart page

Anyhow, give it a check, byeee!

https://rootpain.com/index.html

https://rootpain.com/downloads/pages/games/littlefighter2.html

Yes, I'm finally updating this thing again

And currently I'm implementing new sections at the Downloads Section, and today I'm bringing you a new game I'm particularly fond of, Little Fighter 2

It's a pretty good game, and you should definitely try it

But the main point is; I'm back, baby

Either way, give it a check, please

See you soon.

Kept you waitin' huh?

It's been a while since I've done one of these, but that's mostly because my life is a tad boring at certain points

But man, this month has been anything but

First of all, I turned 22 on July 3rd

We had a barbecue at my work, and it was pretty fun, but that's mostly it, not much has changed besides that

Second, I've been back to doing art, and somehow, I've been doing really well

In fact, I've been fucking killing it all things considered

One day I just decided to pick up my pen and tablet again, and BAM, complete artstyle change, and somehow I'm

making cool looking shit

I've made this piece based on a song I've been listening religiously recently, and I thought it fitted with my character pretty well, so I made an edgy piece, both as a tribute to the song, and as an experiment with this new artstyle I'm experimenting, and I really like how this piece ended up looking

And today, I made this, which is a piece to showcase the design for one of my characters of my yet-to-be-released webcomic, The Elemental Twins, which is something that's been in the makings for about a decade now, and although I initially planned to abandon this piece entirely since I wasn't digging how it was shaping up, I hercules'd through it, and the end result really satisfies me. I'm glad I actually sat down to finish it, this, alongside the piece I've made yesterday are some of the coolest things I've made thus far, and I want to continue to try and make more of these, and if possible, draw the rest of the Twins aswell, and get the webcomic finally out there instead of just leaving it on the backburner/concept hell, so yeah, big plans all around

Lastly, I'm working with my good friend @yokucasper in making a game on Godot, with him handling the sprites and most of the art, while I handle things like UI designs and the programming part itself

Although things have slowed down considerably due to both him and me having awful weeks recently, I'm still slowly but surely getting back to it, and I do have some huge plans for it for the future

The image below is just a concept art, but you can get the idea.

Either way, wasn't the best of months, in actuality, it's been incredibly stressful, but I do admit, lots of good came from it aswell, and I don't plan to slow down any time soon (despite the fact every time I say this, I somehow dissapear every time without fail) so if you're a huge fan of RootPain (AKA June S. Sai (AKA Big Whiskey)) you'll probably have a good time

If you don't like me, or just outright hate me, too bad

You'll still see my face everywhere.

And before closing this, I gotta say; It's always fun to be around here, I've made some really good friends, made some stuff that some people seem to enjoy a ton, and it makes me pretty happy that people still haven't given up hopes on NG aswell, despite how bleak things may look from time to time

Keep doing your thing, and keep yourself real, not only for everyone else, but also yourself

If something is truly your passion, don't let the mediocrity of the world taint it.

Keep killing it

I'll see you around.

A few years ago, around 2010, I made my first Newgrounds account, and I mostly made it to be able to earn medals on the games I liked, I wasn't ever expecting to ever be a part of the community all things considered, mostly due to the fact I was an annoying kid with barely to nothing to offer, artistically or otherwise, but I always wondered if I could get featured on the site like all of the artists I used to look up to did

In 2020, I decided to rejoin Newgrounds once again

Now cut to 2023, and I've finally got that fabled frontpage I've dreamed for so long, but most importantly, I've met so many friends in here, I got to know pretty much everyone in here, and now I'm an actual part of the community that (for the most part) a lot of people seem genuinely fond of having around

I can't state how happy I am to have rejoined Newgrounds when I had the chance back in 2020

A lot of the reasons why my life is significantly better than it was back then was thanks for a lot of the people I met in here, some that I even used to be a big fan of before I actually had the chance to meet them personally (looking at you @staggernight), and the friends I've made in here helped me to stir me up in the right directions I should have been going to from the get go

@octo Introduced me to most of the people in here, and his first website inspired me to make my own, and in general, he's always been a good friend to me

@joe-mega was always a good friend to me, and a lot of his support towards my website endeavors made me want to continue to improve and pursuit to improve them

@staggernight has been a sincerely good friend through all the way, and the amount of nights we spent playing Dragon Ball FighterZ and making KaioKen jokes is something I always remember fondly off

and @beatumpop for just being around, ever since meeting him a year ago, I legitimately felt a light lit up inside me like I haven't felt in years, and this was enough to drive me to push myself harder just a little bit more, even when I was I sure I should have just given up

There's tons of others friends I haven't mentioned either, but you all know who you are, and you're all great as well

And for those who kept an eye on my things, either my website, or my Newgrounds, you're cool too

I'll forever be grateful for what this site and the people in here have done for me

But what now?

What's left for big me? (I'm not little anymore lol)

RootPain.com

That's what's left

All things considered, this is my passion project that's been building up for years now

Ever since I first found out about The Mystical Forest Zone when I was younger, I was obsessed with making

a website of my own as cool as TMFZ was, and recently, I got the chance to do just that

Being the spiritual successor of my first website, JuneSSai.com, RootPain.com is essentially a refined and fully realized version of everything I was trying to accomplish with my first website, and I think I did a pretty good job with it

I do plan on implementing more stuff into my website, like more downloads for free games, backgrounds, fonts, programs and other things, and I've implemented the Art Corner recently, and with the Blog Section being very near completion, it probably won't take long for me to do the same with the rest of the stuff too

It's not a profitable site, but I like making it, and if in the future, my website makes enough impact on someone to make them think about it years later, and make them go "I want to do that some day" just like The Mystical Forest Zone did to me back in the day, then it was all worth it

And lastly, I also want to say "I'm sorry" to a lot of the people that were unfortunate enough to have first interacted me a while ago around 2020-2021

I used to be very bitter about myself and my works, and instead of actually improving myself, I'd try to go out of my way to start shit with other people and make them feel bad instead by "fake criticizing" things others make, trying to pass bitterness off as criticism, and that's always a pathetic thing to do, there's a right way to do criticism, and this is not one of them, and I'm sorry, and I hope if we stumble upon each other again, that we might meet under better circumstances

Either way, that's it for the most part

I told you all I never dissapear for good, and you'd see from me again

If you hate that or not, that's up to you, tho

Stay strong, we'll see each other soon.